The ongoing adventures of Scott Weinberg, a friendly yet annoyingly opinionated guy who does nothing but watch movies and then write about them.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Phrases Coined at Film Festivals

1. "Blogborg" -- A group of three or more movie bloggers who attend a film festival and do (literally) everything together. Walk, talk, chew, twitter, same screenings, same shuttles, same lodgings, same opinions, etc.

The phrase was created when I imagined what would happen if you tried to separate any of the blogborg. I pictured something like a cross between the '78 Body Snatchers shriek and a loud Jawa sound.

2. "Mood Pocket" -- (sing) If you are in the mood to be a dick, dude ... whadaaya gonna blame? MOOD POCKET! When you wanna throw a fit and behave like shit ... whaddaya gona have? MOOD POCKET! (now available in sour grape flavor)

Phrase was coined by Jeffrey Wells in relation to an incident in which a film blogger acted like a big weiner and screwed his festival hosts pretty bad, only to later blame it on a tasty, convenient, and microwavable MOOD POCKET!

3. "Millennium Falcon" -- An astonishingly bad movie.

Dumb but true story: Childress and I were leaving a ROTTEN movie at one of the many festivals we've attended together. Without even thinking about it I said "Ugh, now I know how Luke felt the first time he saw the Millennium Falcon."

Without missing a BEAT, Childress whined (in his best Mark Hamill voice): "What a PIECE of JUNK!" And then we both laughed like nerds for an hour.

4. "Film School Masturbation" -- Another phrase coined by Childress. Can be used to describe any "avant-garde" film (short or, ugh, feature) that values weirdness and artsy-fartsy-ness above all else. Especially plot. The phrase came into heavy usage after we saw an entire Matthew Barney film.

5. "Spunbad?" -- If something is "Spunbad," it's not even worth seeing for the sheer awfulness of the thing. Inspired by the mega-Spunbad film Spun.

6. "Nerd Vultures" -- Those (few but annoying) publicists who eavesdrop and then POUNCE on the critics immediately after a screening. You can be honest with these guys about your opinions on the film, but the best way to get them to leave is to begin TALKING like a film critic. Works every time.

7. "Fancy Party" -- A party that many press members often WANT to go to, but generally have a miserable time at if they happen to swing an invite, and then spend the next few hours bored and wishing they'd stayed back at the hotel to write. Also see: Parties.

8. "Brass Balls!" -- Used to indicate a very GOOD pre-movie festival promo video. Inspired by this.

9. "Ugh, this again." -- Used to indicate a very BAD pre-movie festival promo video. Inspired by 92% of them.

... to be continued!


Anonymous said...

Keep it up. But Barney learned to be such a wank in art school, not film school, I think.
I love #6: tragic little publicists--for god's sake, they're just interns, stop torturing them--trying to parse some pithy Manny Farberish phrase. Maybe I'm a sadist, but I just love doing this. They asked for it!

b said...

Love the Film-School Masturbation one... Sums up my feeling for movies like Cashback (2006). I always wanted to call that movie pretentious, but that was never quite right.

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