1. "Blogborg" -- A group of three or more movie bloggers who attend a film festival and do (literally) everything together. Walk, talk, chew, twitter, same screenings, same shuttles, same lodgings, same opinions, etc.
The phrase was created when I imagined what would happen if you tried to separate any of the blogborg. I pictured something like a cross between the '78 Body Snatchers shriek and a loud Jawa sound.
2. "Mood Pocket" -- (sing) If you are in the mood to be a dick, dude ... whadaaya gonna blame? MOOD POCKET! When you wanna throw a fit and behave like shit ... whaddaya gona have? MOOD POCKET! (now available in sour grape flavor)
Phrase was coined by Jeffrey Wells in relation to an incident in which a film blogger acted like a big weiner and screwed his festival hosts pretty bad, only to later blame it on a tasty, convenient, and microwavable MOOD POCKET!
3. "Millennium Falcon" -- An astonishingly bad movie.
Dumb but true story: Childress and I were leaving a ROTTEN movie at one of the many festivals we've attended together. Without even thinking about it I said "Ugh, now I know how Luke felt the first time he saw the Millennium Falcon."
Without missing a BEAT, Childress whined (in his best Mark Hamill voice): "What a PIECE of JUNK!" And then we both laughed like nerds for an hour.
4. "Film School Masturbation" -- Another phrase coined by Childress. Can be used to describe any "avant-garde" film (short or, ugh, feature) that values weirdness and artsy-fartsy-ness above all else. Especially plot. The phrase came into heavy usage after we saw an entire Matthew Barney film.
5. "Spunbad?" -- If something is "Spunbad," it's not even worth seeing for the sheer awfulness of the thing. Inspired by the mega-Spunbad film Spun.
6. "Nerd Vultures" -- Those (few but annoying) publicists who eavesdrop and then POUNCE on the critics immediately after a screening. You can be honest with these guys about your opinions on the film, but the best way to get them to leave is to begin TALKING like a film critic. Works every time.
7. "Fancy Party" -- A party that many press members often WANT to go to, but generally have a miserable time at if they happen to swing an invite, and then spend the next few hours bored and wishing they'd stayed back at the hotel to write. Also see: Parties.
8. "Brass Balls!" -- Used to indicate a very GOOD pre-movie festival promo video. Inspired by this.
9. "Ugh, this again." -- Used to indicate a very BAD pre-movie festival promo video. Inspired by 92% of them.
... to be continued!
Thursday, February 26, 2009
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2 comments:
Keep it up. But Barney learned to be such a wank in art school, not film school, I think.
I love #6: tragic little publicists--for god's sake, they're just interns, stop torturing them--trying to parse some pithy Manny Farberish phrase. Maybe I'm a sadist, but I just love doing this. They asked for it!
Love the Film-School Masturbation one... Sums up my feeling for movies like Cashback (2006). I always wanted to call that movie pretentious, but that was never quite right.
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