The Final Grind

99.92% of the time, my theatrical reviews go out on opening day. But my editor at FEARnet got all excited and posted my Grindhouse review a week early. I don't mind, really, and I'm not 'worried' about it because the thing's an absolute rave (4.5 out of 5 stars, and I almost NEVER give out five stars after only one viewing), save for one prickly QT speed-bump (that seems to get mentioned in ALL the other reviews I've read). You'll also find some week-early reviews from Dread Central (4 / 5), Filmjerk (A-), EmanuelLevy.com (B-), and (my favorite) IGN Movies (4 / 5).

Tell you what, though. Between the full-court publicity press for this movie and the fact that I live in Austin, where it's all people are talking about, I'm almost sick of Grindhouse already. I'm very interested to hear what my friends & colleagues have to say, and I'm very curious to see how the thing does at the box office ... but I'm looking past GH and salivating for Spidey (and Pirates) 3 already. God, us movie nerds are such a fickle and demanding lot.

But yes, definitely let me know what you thought of it. By next weekend I'll be all geeked up and ready to talk Grindhouse again.

House of Grind

I knew that there was a big swanky Grindhouse premiere scheduled for Austin (seeing as how 85% of the movie was shot here), but I wasn't sure I'd be able to attend said event. And by "not able" I mean "uninvited." But then the illustrious Matt Dentler asked me to come along as his +1, which only bolstered my opinion that Dentler is a god among men. (He could have brought his flawless fiancee to the flick, but she don't dig on the splattery stuff, god bless 'er.)

The front of the Paramount theater was coated with people: photographers, ticket-holders, autograph seekers, random movie nerds, etc. Matt and I ran into Tim & Karrie League, and since they're two of my very favoritest Austineers, the night seemed to be starting off swimmingly. We had great seats, QT & RR took the stage for a few brief (and entertaining) comments, and then we were OFF! Grindhouse, finally! And it's really a huge sweaty ball of gore-caked fun. I preferred Rodriguez's Planet Terror over Tarantino's Death Proof, but that's not a knock on QT. I just prefer zombies, gore, and a colorful cast of characters over stories about highway mayhem ... but not by a whole heck of a lot. (A considerably more thorough review of Grindhouse will soon appear on FEARnet, so consider yourself warned.)

After the movie we moseyed over to the after-party, and it's always nice to be allowed to wear a badge with the words "VIP" emblazoned on the front, because if you've ever met me, you know I'm neither "V" nor "I." Still it was nice to be invited. I chilled with the Leagues and the awesome horror nerd Zack Carlson for a bit, and then we looked around the party and decided "Yeah, let's go over to the Alamo for Weird Wednesday." It was a 1974 pimpsploitation flick called Willie Dynamite, and it's got the funniest costume design ever committed to celluloid. (Was there ever a time when we were NOT supposed to giggle at pimps' fashions?) Plus I had a big basket of Alamo cheese fries, and it might have been my last one for a month or two. :-(

I was going to take a cab home but it turned out that one of my roommates was around the corner at a bar, drunk, which worked out perfectly. He was unable to drive and I was unable to drink (it being 2am by this point), so I drove the car and everyone got home safely. Another of my roommates was propped up on the couch, stoned on wacky weed and watching An Inconvenient Truth. Weird. A very fun night, and one I couldn't have participated in were it not for a few great Austinites. Thanks to all.

And just so you schlock-obsessed, genre-addicted, carnage-lovin' splattermonkeys know: Grindhouse is your Citizen Kane. Enjoy.

(Photos courtesy of Matt D., as was pretty much the entire evening.)

Horror Nerds Are the Coolest Nerds

I just spent two days at Texas Fearfest hanging out with some old friends and some new ones. I stuck mainly with Ryan "Abominable" Schifrin, Adam "Hatchet" Green, and my long-lost brother Joe "Wrong Turn 2" Lynch, but I also got to meet a whole bunch of horror con regulars, several of whom I know very well ... from my childhood. Those I met* include Ken Kirzinger, Kane Hodder, Richard Brooker, Stu Charno, Tony Todd, Barbara Crampton, John Gulager, Marcus Dunston, James Duval, and a whole bunch of the very cool geeks who run Dread Central.

(* "Met" means A) handshake and hello, B) lots of horror-nerd chit-chat, and/or C) beer-drinking at a nudie bar.)

Saturday afternoon was spent snagging as many video interviews as I could for FEARnet, and then at night a whole bunch of us went to a (strip) club ... and let's just say that this was the kind of establishment to which you had to bring your own alcohol. (You guys probably know what that means.) There was much drinking and reveling, and then a bunch of us went back to the hotel and got even more blitzed. Then today I sat in on some of my pals' panels, chilled out for a while, and then drove (three hours) back to Austin. The whole two days was so fun that I almost forgot about the fact the my Uncle Mickey committed suicide late last week. (Sorry to make a dramatic left turn like that, but hey, it's my blog.)

Anyway, I don't "do" horror cons very often, mainly because A) I don't collect much movie stuff, B) I've never cared about autographs, and C) I'd definitely end up going by myself because none of my friends dig the geeky stuff enough to accompany me. But seeing as I already knew Adam and Ryan and John (and my buddy Lawrence was in from Philly!) I jumped at the chance to do some work and play at the same time. I got the impression that Fearfest was a bit smaller than your more popular horror cons, but hey, it was only their first year. Based on what I saw, everyone seemed to be having a damn good time. Plus, holy crap, I got to shake hands with Joe Dante. (Thanks, Ryan!) And that kinda shit doesn't happen every day. And how often can I tell people I had drinks with three different Jason Voorheeses?

A Professional Quandary

As some of you know, last year I was invited (along with four other online writers) to visit the sets of Fox Atomic's 28 Weeks Later (in London) and The Hills Have Eyes 2 (in Morocco). Needless to say, this trip was a great adventure. I made some new friends, saw two great countries, and got to watch a pair of horror sequels being made. I came back enthused, eventually wrote up a few "set report" articles for JoBlo.com, and sat back to look forward to the flicks.

Since I now do reviews for Comcast's FEARnet website, I was assigned Hills 2. It didn't screen for the press, so I gladly drove down to the local multiplex on opening day, spent my $7.50, and settled in for the film. And. I. hated. it. I didn't want to! I knew it'd probably be mindless horror crap, but I enjoy several movies that could be described that way. As the first 25 minutes ticked by, I found myself trying to WILL myself into enjoying the movie. But I just couldn't do it. I had visions of all the awesome people I met and the slick sights I discovered while on that Moroccan set visit, but the plain and simple truth is this: I realllllly disliked The Hills Have Eyes 2. (Here's my review at FEARnet.)

Now, this is a new one for me. I know that lots of entertainment journalists spend time on movie sets, but I don't really consider myself an "entertainment journalist." Sure, I do a lot of flick-blathering on Cinematical, but my job title (as far as I'm concerned) is that of "film critic." (I hate the phrase "film critic," because it kind of implies that one WANTS to criticize. Perhaps I'm more of a "movie advocate" or "flick consultant.") And now I see, as clear as day, why film critics should NOT participate in publicity events. Set visits, pre-release interviews, junkets ... they all exist as a form of movie marketing, and while I have no problem at all with movie marketing, I just don't think that film critics -- folks asked to provide their totally honest (and informed) opinion of a finished film -- should spend time on these activities. Or maybe some of 'em can. But I sure hope I don't get asked back to future "set visits." The passionate movie geek in me will want to jump at the opportunity, but the professional guy, the guy who sincerely needs his opinions to be trusted, respected, and valued, will have to pass on those offers.

Needless to say, this review was insanely hard to write. Here's hoping 28 Weeks Later is a better movie. I can't handle all this guilt.

Too Shocking My Ass

If there's one thing I hate more than PG-13 horror movies, it's horror movies that employ Bullshit Marketing. I get that you have to mega-hype your movie if you want the gorehounds to search your title out over the thousands of other options, but sometimes the B.S. gets pretty freakin' thick. Case in point: The "After Dark Horror Fest" titles -- or as I like to call them "the movies that Lionsgate purchased with the full intention of jettisoning them directly onto the DVD market, but got a few delusions when Courtney Solomon and his After Dark banner got involved." But that probably wouldn't fit as well on a DVD cover, now would it?

The "official" After Dark titles are The Abandoned, Dark Ride, The Gravedancers, The Hamiltons, Penny Dreadful, Reincarnation, Unrest, and Wicked Little Things. (With Hood of Horror and The Tripper as "sorta" AD titles.) So check out this trailer and then come back for the rest of my nerd-rant.

"Too graphic, too shocking, too disturbing" to warrant a normal theatrical release? Oh my god, puh-leeze. Any three random minutes from Saw 2 is more disturbing than what's on display in these AD titles. Talk about an aggressively misleading advertising campaign. The only reason these movies don't get a traditional (even limited) theatrical release is because no one, aside from a few small genre freaks, is liable to look at the newspaper and say "Hey, yyyyeah, let's all pile into the car and see Penny Dreadful, starring Rachel Miner and Mimi Rogers." I've seen five of the eight AD flicks, and I think the reason they can't get even a limited release is ... they kinda stink. (And yet, somehow, the mega-snoozer The Abandoned, DID get released! It opened in 1,000 theaters, grossed less than $1.5 million, and vanished in less than a week. Lesson learned.)

I think it's awesome that Lionsgate gives the little horrors a shot (it really was a whole lot of fun "discovering" The Gravedancers) and I guess I have to give them credit for mounting a cleverly effective ad campaign for this fistful of generally flaccid fear flicks. But don't fleece the fans. These movies weren't kept out of theaters because of shocking content; they were left out of theaters for boring content.

A Brief Moment of Fanboyism

You can keep your snooty mega-stars and your blank-eyed hotties. AT SXSW I got to shake hands with Bill Paxton and drink a beer with Paul Rudd. Generally I just throw an interested glance towards celebs and then just keep walking, but when you're face-to-face with someone whose work you've admired since you were a kid, well, that's a different story. I only wish I didn't look like a stoned moron in both of these shots. (Thanks to Erik Childress for taking these photos.)

Impending Horrors

Over the past several years, I've attended and re-attended the following festivals: Sundance / Slamdance in January, SXSW in March, Philadelphia in April, Toronto and Fantastic Fest in September. I aim to add a few more trips to that list, but only if they're stuff like Fantastic Fest: A non-stop week of almost nothing but horror flicks. I can watch, appreciate and review just about anything under the sun (I even reviewed a Fassbinder once, and was only barely up to the task), but horror flicks is my absolute passion.

So here's a bunch of titles that should be available semi-soon, all of which earn the Weinnerd Seal of Horror Geek Approval. And no, I don't like everything. I just kinda dismiss the ones I didn't like, cuz for all I know other horror freaks might really love something like Blood Trails or Trapped Ashes, and I wouldn't want to dissuade them from giving 'em a shot. Anyway keep an eye out for...

• All the Boys Love Mandy Lane -- Feels like it was found on a horror shelf circa 1985. Which is cool.
• Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon -- Even better the second time around.
  
• Black Sheep -- Very amusing monster-com about killer sheep and a few human zombie sheep.
• Borderland -- American kids run into some Mexican satanists. Dark and fun.
• Broken -- Starts out like a Saw retread and slowly gets a lot better.
  
• Bug -- Friedkin's best film in years.
  
• End of the Line -- Caught no attention whatsoever at Toronto '06, but I liked it quite a bit.
• Fido -- Leave it to Beaver meets Night of the Living Dead. Fun stuff.
  
• Frostbite -- Yet another Swedish vampire horror comedy.
• Grimm Love -- Moves real slow, but ends with a ... bang.
  
• Hatchet -- A movie made entirely of geeky talent and gorehound enthusiasm.
  
• The Host -- Coolest monster movie in years, even if it does run a bit long.
  
• The Last Winter -- Takes its time warming up, but a good cast and a creepy premise keep it interesting.
• Lie Still -- Surprisingly compelling Brit indie.
• The Living and the Dead -- As 1/3 of the Fantastic Fest jury, I voted to give this one top prize.
• Murder Party -- If you hate art school students, you'll definitely dig this one.
  
• Roman -- Not for all tastes, but I find it hard to dislike these McKee/Bettis projects.
  
• S&Man -- JT Petty's cleverly twisted doco really tries to mess with your head.
  
• Severance -- Two genres in one, and they're both great!
• Simon Says -- Standard slasher throwback, only this one stars Crispin Glover. 'Nuff said.
  
• The Signal -- Indie apocalypse awesomeness.
• Teeth -- Yes, the one about the girl with the teeth "down there." I really dug this one.
  
• Them -- 77 minutes long, none of 'em wasted.
• Trigger Man -- Moves real slow, but ends with ... several bangs.
  

I want you to know that I was rooting for you. Know that.

This is the only shot of Norrington that you'll find in the POTC3 trailer. (Blink and you'll miss it.) Kind of a shame, because I think he's the most interesting character in the series. I suspect he'll have a big "save the day" kind of redemption, but I hope this guy doesn't get shoved into the background to make room for squid-face, voodoo hottie, Chow Yun Fat, and the monkey. (Also, this trailer rocks the proverbial socks. The sword fight on the bow of the ship, cleverly timed with the simplistically rousing trailer music, is the stuff of nerdboy goosebumps.)

I'm a whore for this franchise. I freely admit it.

Writing from a coffee bar

So after eight straight days of seeing movies and writing about them, I've taken a few of my own (long-festering) movie ideas to a second level.

1. I'm presently collaborating with Severance screenwriter Jimmy Moran on an all-in-one-night inner-city mega-gritty horror flick. That screenplay is about 2/3rds finished. Working on in all this week.

2. I'm about to "exploit" all my contacts in the horror field to make a documentary. Might take a while, but I record my first (and second) interview in May.

3. A producer I know wants me to participate on a hush-hush project. Not sure how far this one will go, but I plan to attack it with both fists. And teeth.

4. Right now I'm about to go get another vanilla latte.

SXSW in '07

I just spent 8 days at the South By Southwest Film Festival. It was my 5th time covering this event, and if you ask anyone who knows me they'll say "Yes, it's (far and away) his very favorite film festival, even better than Sundance or Toronto," and then they'll sigh loudly and roll their eyes because it's something I say all the time.

This year I had a whole BUNCH of friends in town, from six of my eFilmCritic colleagues to a pair of very excellent Cinematicaleers and a sticky handful of filmmaker buddies I've chummed up with over the years.

Anyway, here's a list of the SXSW movies I saw. Two lists, actually. (Links lead to my reviews. My star ratings go on a 1 -5 scale.)

SXSW Movies I saw at festivals prior to SXSW '07

All the Boys Love Mandy Lane - ***1/2
Black Sheep - ****
Eagle vs. Shark - ***1/2
Fay Grim - *** 1/2
Fido - ****
Severance - ****
The Signal - ****
The Ten - *** 1/2
Zoo - **1/2

Movies I saw during (or just prior to) SXSW '07

638 Ways to Kill Castro - ***1/2
American Zombie - **1/2
Blackbird - ***
Borderland - ****
Cashback - ***1/2
Cherry Valley - **
The Devil Dared Me To - *** 1/2
Diggers - ****
Disturbia -- **
Doubletime - ***1/2
Elvis and Anabelle - ***1/2
Everything's Gone Green - **1/2
Exiled - ***1/2
Flakes - **
Forfeit - ***
Grimm Love - ***
Helvetica - ***1/2
Imprint - **1/2
Itty Bitty Titty Committee - ***
The King of Kong - ****1/2
Knocked Up - ****1/2
The Lather Effect - ***1/2
A Lawyer Walks into a Bar - ***
Mulberry Street - ***
Murder Party - ***1/2
Orphans - **
Pretty in the Face - ***1/2
Suffering Man's Charity - **1/2
Them - ****
Third Ward TX - ***
Trailer Park Boys: The Movie - **
Trigger Man - **1/2
Who Loves the Sun - ****

...also seen during SXSW week, although they weren't part of the festival: Blades of Glory, Dead Silence, and TMNT. The parties were cool, the friends were everywhere, I got to meet Bill Paxton, and I was lucky enough to be on a discussion panel about horror movies. Throw some sexual intercourse in there and it would have been the best week of my life. (That record still belongs to last September's Fantastic Fest.)

OK, back to work. Yesterday was probably the busiest I've ever been for deadlines, assignments owed, cigarettes smoked, and irritated bosses.

The Arrival

Yes, yes, I know what you're thinking:

Hey, ASS, we can already read your blather at a half-dozen websites, LiveJournal AND freakin' MySpace. How many fora do your inane ravings actually need?

And that's a fair question. But I've never had what I consider to be my own "personal" blog. LJ comes close, but at that site I'm basically just talking to the same two-dozen (very awesome) people, but those folks are loyal enough to add an extra RSS feed for lil old me.

I plan to update regularly and use this blog as a "catch-all" for alllll the work I do at the websites listed on your left. By doing this I hope to get an extra 9 to 14 hits on my various reviews, articles, festival reports, and random nerd-droplets. So if you NEED to bookmark only one Scott Weinberg spot (and frankly, you needn't), then this is the one to flag.

To those who don't know me, here's a simple recap: I am a pathetic movie nerd who writes for a whole bunch of excellent websites. I write lots of reviews, report tons of geeky movie news, visit several film festivals a year, and spend most of my hours with a DVD remote in my hand. Over the (numerous) years on the job, I've spent two years on the OFCS Governing Committee, made tons of great friends in the critic / filmmaking / nerd industry, and seen more movies than you'll probably see during the course of your natural life. (Zombies don't count.) Hmm, what else? I'm from Philadelphia (which is Latin for "Awesomus Citius") and have recently adopted Austin as my official home away from home.

Now I'm off to make this blog look all cool and stuff.