The ongoing adventures of Scott Weinberg, a friendly yet annoyingly opinionated guy who does nothing but watch movies and then write about them.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Casualty List for the ALIENS Marines

First Contact

1. Corporal Dietrich (Cynthia Dale Scott) -- Yanked into the dark by a camoflauged alien bastard.
2. Private Frost (Ricco Ross) -- Set ablaze by Dietrich's flamthrower, falls down a giant shaft, explodes with a lot of ammo strapped to his back. Ouch.
3. Private Crowe (Tip Tipping) -- Killed instantly in the explosion.
4. Private Wierzbowski (Trevor Steedman) -- Dispatched off-screen (but loudly) in the subsequent confusion.


The Firefight

5. Sergeant Apone (Al Matthews) -- Grabbed by aliens while waiting for his moron lieutenant to get a clue.
6. Private Drake (Mark Rolston) -- Mega-sprayed by a shower of acid-blood just as he was about to escape. 

No Escape

7. Private Spunkmeyer (Daniel Kash) -- Devoured off-screen while prepping the drop-ship for evac.
8. Corporal Ferro (Colette Hiller) -- Savaged by aliens as she prepares to set the drop-ship down.

The Siege

9. Private Hudson (Bill Paxton) -- Pulled to a satisfyingly heroic death when the aliens break through the floor (and the ceiling) of home base.
** Layman Carter J. Burke (Paul Reiser) -- Whacked by an alien mouth while sweating and cringing like the pathetic worm he so definitely is.
10. Private Vasquez (Jenette Goldstein) -- Blown up while trying to save her clueless lieutenant from a sticky demise.
11. Lieutenant Gorman (William Hope) -- Blown up by Vasquez when the rescue attempt fails. At least the idiot took a few aliens with him.